Genesis 18

¹ One day, it was really hot and Abraham was sitting outside his tent near the great trees of Mamre when God showed up.

² Abraham looked up and saw three dudes standing around nearby. When he saw them, he ran over to meet them and bowed really low.

³ He said, “If you want, you can stay here for a while. I’m at your service.

⁴ Feel free to sit under this tree, and I’ll have some water brought over so you can wash your feet.

⁵ Let me get you something to eat too, so you can re-energize and go on your way. It’ll be my pleasure.”

“All right,” they said, “sounds good. Go ahead.”

⁶ So Abraham ran into his tent where Sarah was. “Quick,” he said, “get thirty-six pounds of the best flour we have and bake some bread.”

⁷ Then he ran out to his herd and picked out a choice, tender calf and gave it to a servant, who hurried to prepare it.

⁸ Finally he brought some curds and milk and the roasted calf and put them out for the three travelling guys. While they ate, he stood near them under a tree.

⁹ “Where is your wife Sarah?” they asked him.

“She’s in the tent,” he said.

¹⁰ Then one of the guys said, “I’ll be back this way around this time next year, and your wife will have a son.”

Sarah was eavesdropping on this conversation from the tent

¹¹ Abraham and Sarah were already very old, and Sarah was way too old to have kids.

¹² She laughed to herself and thought, “How’s a worn-out old broad like me going to have a kid? Especially when my husband is so old, too?”

¹³ Then God said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh? Why was she all, ‘Can an old lady like me really have a baby?’

¹⁴ Is anything too hard for me? God? I’ll be back next year like I said, and Sarah will have a son.”

¹⁵ Sarah was scared, so she lied and said, “I didn’t laugh.”

But God was like, “You totally did.”

¹⁶ When the men got up to leave, they looked down toward Sodom, and Abraham walked along with them to see them off.

¹⁷ God was thinking, “I wonder if I should tell Abraham what I’m about to do?

¹⁸ I’m sure that Abraham’s family will become a great and powerful nation, and people all over the world will use his name to bless things.

¹⁹ I mean, I handpicked him after all, to follow my lead and do what’s right and just, and to make sure his children do too, so they’ll get what I promised them.”

²⁰ So God said to Abraham, “I’ve been hearing a lot of nasty shit from Sodom and Gomorrah. It sounds like they’re sinning their asses off.

²¹ I’m gonna go down there and see if it’s as bad as I’ve heard. If not, I’ll know.”

²² The other men turned and started walking toward Sodom, but God stayed with Abraham.

²³ Abraham went up to him and asked: “Will you wipe out the good people with the bad ones?

²⁴ What if there are fifty good people in the city? Will you really still destroy it? You wouldn’t spare the city for fifty good people?

²⁵ I mean, I’m sure you wouldn’t do that Killing them all would be treating good and evil people exactly the same. You wouldn’t do that! I can’t believe for a second that the judge of all Earth wouldn’t do what’s right.”

²⁶ God said, “If I find fifty good people in the city of Sodom, I will spare the whole place for their sake.”

²⁷ Then Abraham spoke up again: “As long as I’m already speaking boldly, even though I am nothing but dust and ashes,

²⁸ what if there are fewer than fifty good people? Will you destroy the whole city for the lack of say, five people?”

“If I find forty-five,” said God, “I won’t destroy it.”

²⁹ Then Abraham asked, “What if you only find forty?”

God said, “For forty, I won’t do it.”

³⁰ Then Abraham said, “Okay, please don’t be mad, but hear me out. What if you only find thirty?”

God answered, “I won’t do it if I find thirty.”

³¹ Abraham said, “I know I’m pushing my luck here, but what if you only find twenty?”

God said, “For the sake of twenty good people, I won’t destroy the city.”

³² Then Abraham said, “Please, please don’t get mad, but lemme just say one more thing. What if you only find ten good people?”

God answered, “For the sake of ten, I won’t destroy it.”

³³ When God was done speaking with Abraham, he left, and Abraham went home.